It's time for "Meet______Monday." I thought about who I should do in this one and decided that before I can move on to friends and other people in my life, I needed to start with someone who was no longer physically in my life but who will always be in my heart and my spirit... my precious, beautiful Lala... my amazing mother.
Lala was many things to many people. She was a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend, a teacher.... she was a smile, a laugh, a shoulder, and an ear..... she was so many, many things. To me... she was my mom and one of my best friends. Everyone has told me that her life calling was to be a mother, but that's not something that I really need to be told. She was a good mom in everything she did and I knew all along that her second greatest joy in life came from being a mom (the first coming from her Lord, of course...)
My mom learned from a young age that life was hard. Her dad was killed by a drunk driver when she was only 13 years old. That left just her and her mother. I never got to meet my grandfather, but he left quite a legacy in my mom. Because not only did my mom learn that life was hard at a young age, but she learned how to depend on Christ in all of those hard times. I'm sure that the Lord would have found another way to teach my mom those lessons if that certain situation hadn't happened, but I know that Christ puts us through those types of things to mold us into the person he wants us to be. If that terrible situation hadn't of happened, who knows if my mom would have been the same mother she was to me... and then where would I be now?
My mom's laugh was so contagious. On days when I miss her really bad, I just close my eyes and imagine that smile and that laugh. She laughed with her entire heart. You could see the joy lift through her eyes during that laugh. This picture makes me laugh with her because I know that at this moment, my mother was happy. My mother was almost always happy! She had an incredible gift of finding happiness in every situation, and I know that that too stemmed from her faith in her Lord.
Sometimes I wonder why God took her from me.... why did He make me suffer the loss of my mother? But then I remember that He gave me 18 years with her. Those 18 years were a
gift. I don't need to look back on those years and long for more. I need to be thankful for the 18 that I had. There are some people in this world who don't have a mom at all, or who have a lousy mom, or who's mom just doesn't love them. But I was
blessed with 18 years spent with a woman who loved me and did everything for me and raised me in the way of the Lord. I am
thankful for those 18 years, and I refuse to sit around and complain about having to live without her--- I would rather live as a person raised by someone as amazing as her than to not have had her at all.
Everyone always tells me that I look just like my mom. So many times her friends or our family members will just stop and look at me with teary eyes and just say, "Sorry, I saw Laura when I just looked at you." While those times make me teary eyed, I think it's the greatest compliment in the world. Who could ask for a better complaint? Who could ask for a better gift? When I look in the mirror each day, I am reminded of her beauty. That is a wonderful gift!
My mom
loved Christmas. She decorated our house like crazy and thrived for the Christmas season. She read the story of Jesus' birth to us every year and throughout the entire season reminded us that
Jesus is the reason for the season! Sure, she spoiled us with gifts each year. But she never, ever let us go through a Christmas without reminding us that we wouldn't have one at all if God had never sent us His greatest gift of all. I am blessed to have been raised by a woman with such strong faith.
And of course, Easter was no different from Christmas. Sure, there were less parties and less gifts, but much much more joy. Easter was the time that our sins were forgiven and washed clean, and my mom never let that lesson fade. How many people can say they were raised with a mother whose ultimate goal as a mother was to raise her children in the way of Christ? Not many these days. I know that I would not be the woman of God that I am today if I hadn't of had her as a role model.
My mother had a sweet, peaceful spirit. Even when cancer was brought into her life, she faced it with grace and strength. She never faltered in her walk- she never asked, "Why me?". While she fought her leukemia, a friend gave her a book. This book was called "Just Enough Light for the step I'm on" She always talked about how she may not understand the situation that God put her in or where He was leading her, but that he would always provide just enough light for the step she was at. Here is the poem that was found at the beginning of the book. She shared it with us often:
Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On
Sometimes only the step I'm on,
or the very next one ahead
is all that is illuminated for me.
God gives just the amount of light I need
for the exact moment I need it.
At those times I walk in surrender to faith,
unable to see the future
and not fully comprehending the past.
And because it is God who has given me
what light I have,
I know I must reject the fear and
doubt that threaten to overtake me.
I must determine to be contempt where
I am, and allow God to get me where I
need to go.
I walk forward,
one step at a time,
fully trusting that
the light God sheds,
is absolutely sufficient.
I'm going to end with some of Lala's own words. She wrote me a letter on the day of my highschool graduation, almost 7 1/2 months before she passed away. I feel as though these words are words of wisdom that I can apply to my life forever:
"Always remember that God's grace will see you through. Never take your eyes off the Lord, for His way is perfect and His word is flawless. Always remember He will walk with you in the good times and carry you in the hard times- for He will be your strength and shield."
So if you are blessed to still have your mom alive and well with you, go and give her a hug... call her and tell her thank you... and then thank God for your time with her. And if your mom has already gone before, remember to thank God for the time you had with her- because although it hurts to live through the loss, it would hurt more to have never met at all. I love you and miss you my beautiful Lala....
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
my California girl Betsy! I hope that you have an awesome 23rd birthday and that you enjoyed getting to spend it with your family after four birthdays apart! BUT, I missed celebrating with you! I love you and wish you the happiest birthday of all! :)
...and to my bestest, Nikki! I hope that you had an amazing birthday today too!! I can't believe I didn't get to celebrate with you... the first time since we've met that we haven't done something for your birthday! :( BUT, I hope it was wonderful nonetheless. HAPPY BIRTHDAY niknak!!
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