Beach Bum

It's my sixth day at the beach, and I still have six more left. Today is the first day that it isn't pretty. I'm trying to decide if I want to go sit on the beach when it's cloudy... we'll see. I just thought I'd post while I'm still laying in bed.

I absolutely love being at the beach. It's just such relaxing. I feel like I have a lot of time to just reflect while I am here, especially since it's just me a

nd

 Holly here right now. This stretch of beach holds so many memories for me- moments with my mom, last moments with Molly, grieving over Molly, different boyfriends, and just a ton of memories with so many different friends. I love coming to the same place for beach vacations because everytime I come, I can remember the past and present people in my life.

One of my favorite things to do at the beach is watch the sunset. It's like God paints a picture for me every night while I'm here. I love to watch it every night because it's always so different! Here is a picture from my favorite sunset so far this week...

For some reason it's sideways- I can't figure out how to rotate it. I obviously still have lots to learn about this blogging! Ha.

I also realized that I haven't posted pictures of my apartment or new school! So here is a picture of the front of my new apartment in Irving and of the school that I will be teaching 5th grade at... I'm so so excited!!!

Yay! So exciting. All right, well I guess that's all for now. Just a random post! I am at the beach until next Wednesday, then next Friday I am headed to Dallas for a week to do mission work with FBCT. Should be lots of fun- I'm excited to see how God uses us in a place that I will SOON be calling "home"!

One more thing-- Thanks for coming to the beach for a few days Ann Marie! I had a blast and I miss you already!

Washed Away

I just had one of the coolest experiences of my life. After a walk on the beach with my sister and one of my best friends, I sat down on a bench and just sat and looked at the waves and the stars. Sitting on the beach at night while looking at the stars is one of my favorite things to do. I get so much thinking get done out there. But tonight, it was not just thinking. My heart was crying out to God- and for the first time… I heard him talk to me. I know that sounds crazy. No, I didn’t hear an audible voice. But I heard it inside of me… and I know it was Him. I would recognize that loving tone anywhere- I know that it was my Lord. I confessed that I was holding on to so much pain and so much regret and so many past failures. I spilt my heart and how it ached, I talked about how I longed for a man in my life, and I was just honest with my Lord…and I heard him respond.

“Give me your heart daughter. I can not give you your man until I am your man. Let me be your man. Let me hold you and heal your pain. Give me your hurt, I can handle it. The other guys in your life never could- but I can. Give it to me. Let me hold your hand and heal your heart. I am the only man who will never leave you nor forsake you. Let me be your number one, so that I can then introduce your number two.”

At first I just sat there. I was trying to figure out if I told myself that, or if it was really Him. But it was Him! I know it was. He then told me to go down to the water, so I did. I stood with my feet in the water watching the tide come in and out, washing over my feet over and over again. I then heard this…

“I can wash away all of your pain and hurt, just like I am washing away this sand right now. Write the things that hurt you and hold you captive in the sand. I will give you the visual of me washing it away, gone in a moment.”

I bent over and wrote different words in the sand. People that had hurt me. Relationships gone bad. Friendships lost. Things that held me captive. I wrote word after word with my finger in the sand. And after every word was written, the tide came up and washed it away. You could not even tell that it had been written there to begin with. And I knew at that moment that I was free. God had truly washed my hurt in my heart away, just as he had done those words on the sand.

I then sat on the bench and listened some more. All I felt was peace. No more words. But He was there. I could tell. He was holding me. It was the most amazing experience I have ever had, and I just wanted to write about it so that I would never, ever forget my personal encounter with my Savior.

525,600 Minutes

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, 
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee? In 
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife? In 525,600 minutes - how do you 
measure a year in the life?

A year ago I had different plans, different dreams. I was a different person. I was a person living for myself and MY plans. I had my entire life planned out. Graduate in a year, move to Auburn, get a job, work for a year, get married, and so on. But GOD obviously had plans that I had never even thought of, and a year ago HE changed my plans. He opened my eyes. He let my heart be broken into millions of pieces- but only so that I would have to bring the pieces to HIM to put them back together. For months after that day I still tried to live life my way and change things so that I could have them back my way, but GOD would not let it happen. FINALLY, I gave it all to Him. I gave him my hopes, my dreams, my broken heart, and my heart's desires. I told HIM to take them and heal them, and wow, has it been a journey!! Ever since I gave my hurt to Him, life has been so great. I was blessed with a group of friends at school that kept me laughing and happy and busy. I was reconnected with my best friend from freshmen year who has been such a rock for me. I was reconnected with my best friends from highschool who have helped me through so much hurt and so much pain and helped form me into a better person. So to all of those friends-- you know who you are-- thank you!! I would never be where I am today if it weren't for you. And thank you JESUS for healing my heart and giving me your plans for my life!!!

Now, exactly a year from the day that my plans were "destroyed", I have completely different plans. God's plans. I have a 5th grade teaching job in Texas, I have a gorgeous apartment in Texas, I have already made friends in Texas, and I basically have a family in Texas too. A year ago I would have never imagined these plans- but I know that they are all GOD-written... and I can't wait to live these new dreams out. I love my life today and I wouldn't go back to a year ago for anything. People come and people go, but GOD is solid throughout.

I'm a different person today with different dreams. And GOD is bringing these dreams to live! 525,600 minutes... a lot can change in that time! And I am so glad that these things have changed for me. I can't wait to see what the next 525,600 minutes bring for me!! Life is good, but only because GOD is good!!!!

FIRST JOB!!!!

I had a job interview yesterday in Irving, Texas. It was for a 5th grade position at John F. Townley Elementary School. The interview went SO well. We all had so much fun talking and laughing for the 45 minutes that we spent together. I felt so good about the interview when I left! The principal called me today and said that I had lots of enthusiasm and lots to offer to his school. He then asked me if I would want to teach 5th grade there! Of course I said YES!!!!! 

So I officially have my first job!! I'm so so so excited. For the past four years I've been working towards and now I have my first job!! I cant wait to have my own classroom. It's kind of scary but so exciting!! The first day of school is August 24th... cant wait!!!! =)

Your friends become your family...

I was told today that there are 4 things that happen in college. Supposedly these things happen to every college student. I just wanted to post them, along with my thoughts on each.

1. You find out who you really are in college.

I believe this, although not wholeheartedly. I never really felt like I didn't know who I was before college. But during college, I learned SO much about myself. I learned that with God behind me, I am capable of getting through any situation. I've learned that I am strong. I don't need a boy to complete me. I am capable of standing up to myself. I am also capable of forgiving and moving on. I am tender and emotional, but I am also strong and brave. These are all things that college taught me. I know who I am now and I know what I want out of life, that is for sure.

2. You lose touch quickly with friends from high school.

I'm going to go with false. My freshmen year I stayed very close to my highschool friends. The beginning of sophomore year is when I began to lose touch. Lucky for me though, I never lost touch completely. I have some friends from highschool that I still talk to weekly. Granted we arent as close as we use to be, they are still my friends. There are friends that I have lost complete contact with though, so I will agree partially with this statement.

3. You find your real friends in college.

I had real friends in highschool, but I also found real friends in college. The six and Nikki are some of the realest friends I have ever had. I think that at college it is so much easier to find "real" friends because you pick the friends based on your personalities. You don't have friends based on whose parents are friends or anything like that. You pick your friends, and eventually those friends become our family. That is what happened with the six and Nikki-- those six girls are basially my sisters now. I'm not sure how i'm going to live life without them in it every day.

4. You learn to appreciate your family in college.

True. My mother was my best friend before she passed away. My older brother and I are closer than we have ever been before. My little brother is my best friend. My mawmaw and pawpaw are so dear to me. I appreciate them so much more than I did when I lived at home!!

I cant believe college is over. Since Saturday I have said goodbye to three very dear friends and there are many more goodbyes to come. I'm so sad to see this chapter of my life end! It went by too fast. But I am so excited to see what God holds for me in the next chapter of my life :)

The Six Nikki and Me

Life :)

I graduated from college on Saturday. It was a pretty boring ceremony, but an exciting day. I can't believe how fast the past four years went by! It seems just like yesterday when I moved into my dorm room-- now I'm an alum! Crazy!

I have an interview on Thursday for a fifth grade language arts/reading position at Townley Elementary school in Irving, Texas. I'm really nervous about it because I really, really want this job. I am trying to put it in God's hands though- if it is the job He wants me to have I know that it will work out!

Kevin and Alicean were home for the weekend. There was a party for them in Trussville Friday night and one in Gadsden yesterday. And graduation was Saturday. And mother's day was Sunday. It was a crazy, busy weekend. It was a weekend that Lala would have loved. I wish that she could be here for all of these things- she would love them. This would have been a weekend that she would have thrived on. I havent missed her as much as I missed her this weekend in a long time!

It's weird how God works things out though. If mom were still alive, I doubt Kevin would have taken that job in Austin. And if Kevin hadn't taken that job in Austin, he would have never met Alicean. And if he had never met Alicean, I wouldnt be getting a job in Irving. I wonder what life would be like if she were still here, but at the same time its crazy how God works through things.  

If someone had told me a year ago that I was going to be moving to Texas this summer, I probably would have laughed in their face. It's just crazy how God works through things. I went through months of heartache, but it was obvious that it was all for a reason-- because I'm suppose to go to Texas.

Life is pretty great right now and I'm pretty happy. I can't wait to move to Texas in July and find out what God has in store for me! :)