This should be a joyous moment, right? Christmas music, christmas trees, christmas presents, and only 11 school days until Christmas break.
Yet, I just bursted into tears.
Christmas was my mom's favorite part of the year. She turned the house into a Christmas wonderland, threw parties, sang carols all day long, read us the Christmas story from the bible as often as bible, recorded "Jesus is the reason for the season" on the voicemail, and was always shopping and baking christmas treats. My mom always wore a smile, but even more so during Christmas. My best childhood memories are from Christmas.
Therefore, I love Christmas as well. It's my favorite time of the year (besides football season...) and I just love everything about it.
But it's the season that I feel the closest to my mom, yet the farthest away as well.
As I do little things that she always did at Christmas, I feel like she is right there with me. By my side when I'm wrapping presents, riding shotgun with me as I sing Christmas carols on the way to work, and laughing with me as I bake Christmas cookies. I swear, there are times I can really feel her there during Christmas.
But it's during Christmas that I feel the most loss too. Because in reality, she isn't here for Christmas. She's not here to shop with me, decorate with me, wrap presents with me, bake with me, sing with me... it's definitely the season that I miss her the most.
I'm thankful for the 17 Christmas seasons that I got to spend with my mom. The past 5 without her have not been the same, and I doubt they ever will be. But I am forever thankful for the ones I had with her. I love you and miss you every day, Lala.
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