C & S

Growing up, I didn't have any first cousins. I had oodles of second, third, and even fourth cousins, and I loved them all. But I didn't have any first cousins. I'd always hear my friends talking about their cousins and how much fun they always had at their grandparents houses. When I went to my grandparents, it was just me and my siblings- same as always. I always, always wanted a first cousin! However, my mom was an only child, so no chance of first cousins there. My dad's sister couldn't have kids, and my dad's brother just never had.

Then I was about to be in first grade, and little Justin was born. He was born the day before my sixth birthday! I wanted him to be born on my birthday so, so bad... but he was already early. I remember my Aunt gigi coming to get us from the house because he was on the way! I was so excited! I was finally going to be a cousin! Well, he was sick for a long time. And then, as the years went by, it turned out that my little red headed cousin didn't want anything to do with me! He always wanted to play video games or pokemon with my little brother. What a waste! (I'm just kidding, I love my cousin SO much! It just wasn't the same since he didn't play with me.) Then my aunt- my only hope at more first cousins!- got breast cancer. I didn't know it then, but that apparently lessons your chance of having another baby to like... zero chance. How devastating for me! (and of course, her!)

Well, when I was 13 years old, things changed. A miracle happened, and my aunt gave birth to an adorable little girl named Chloe! And that little girl has had me wrapped around her finger ever since! I loved going over to their house and playing with her! I looked forward to any chance we had to hold her and cuddle her and play with her! As the years went on, Chloe fell in love with me just as much as I did with her. Whenever I see her, she comes running towards me and gives me the biggest hugs. We laugh and have so much fun together! We've played plenty of imaginary games, school, house, video games, dolls, and the list goes on. She brings out the kid in me! I love, love playing with her.

Chloe and I- she is 2 here and I'm 17! 

My freshmen year of college, Chloe's dad passed away. It was a heart breaking time for my family, especially since we had lost my mom just three months earlier. A year later, my aunt had fallen in love with another man. He was truly a Godsend to her and my two precious cousins! AND, he came with two new cousins for me! The summer after my junior year of college, I was given the job of being their "nanny". I remember Joe talking to me before about how he knew how much I loved Chloe and that he really wanted me to be open to loving his children just as much and not showing favoritism. I remember thinking that would be really hard because I adored Chloe. But the first day on the job, I knew it wouldn't be so bad! I fell in love with Savannah and Peyton just as quickly as I did with Chloe and Justin.

That was a very challenging summer for me for many different reasons. I was living at home with my dad, which was challenging after being away for three years. I was going through a rough time relationship wise. But the time I spent with those kids every day change me in so many ways. You see, we were all struggling with the loss of a parent. In the year and a half before that summer, I had lost my mom... Chloe and Justin had lost their dad... and Savannah and Peyton had lost their mom. The kids had lots of questions and lots to say about it, and I felt like I was able to be there for them when they needed someone to understand. I spent many days that summer holding a crying kid. I also spent many days that summer laughing with them, swimming with them, beating playing them in mario kart, and falling even more in love with them.

Don't get me wrong, I love Justin and Peyton just as much as I do Chloe and Savannah. However, they are yucky boys. (Kidding!) The bond I have with Chloe & Savannah is incredible. I know they look forward to seeing me (mainly because whenever I pull into their driveway, they are either waiting for me in the swing or peeking out the window looking for me! It melts my heart!!) I look forward to seeing them even more though. I hope and pray that I can be a Godly woman role model to them as they grow up. They are blessed to have a Godly woman role model in my aunt, I just hope to be an extra one. I pray that God will somehow use me in their lives to point them to Him. I hope they know as they grow up that they can always come to me about anything, and that I'll always be there for them. I love those two little girls so much! They are the little sisters I never had! I love you, C & S! And I miss you SO MUCH!

Savannah, me, and Chloe last summer